book club: "Loving the Little Years" Part 2

I loved, loved, loved the chapter titled "Spirited Riders" in Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic.  

When we found out we were pregnant with our first daughter, I was honestly terrified.  I was afraid of the drama that came with the territory of raising girls.  When we had our second daughter, I was thankful that she would have a sister for the journey, but I was still intimidated.  I wanted them to have each other to wave the storm of their emotions.  And I remember praying specifically, "Lord, I know you gave me two girls for a reason.  I pray you equip me for the job and help me to raise strong women who fear you, not women full of fear."

You know those type.  The type of woman, who cares about what they look like, what their house looks like, what their kids look like.  The type of woman whose mood swings affect the entire house.  Well, I have been that woman at various times in my life, and I don't want to pass on that fear to them.   "... for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7).

As their mother, I want to give them the tools to control their emotions.  Rachel Jankovic gives a beautiful description of how to teach our daughters to handle their emotions.  She says:

"Little girls need help sorting out their emotions - not so they can wallow in them, but so they can learn to control them.  We tell our girls that their feelings are like horses - beautiful, spirited horses.  But they are the riders.  We tell them that God gave them this horse when they were born, and they will ride it their whole life."

This has been so helpful to me, not only as a mother to daughters, but also as a woman.  I have to be a mature rider, so that my girls can learn from me.  I have to show self-control when the day isn't going as planned.  I have to communicate my feelings in a way that doesn't harm or hurt the listener.  I want to teach my girls how to control their passions in a way that makes them stronger, so that they ride their horses with poise and grace. 

I like how Jankovic says it, " A well-controlled passionate personality is a powerful thing.  That is what dangerous woman are made of.  But a passionate personality that is unbridled can cause a world of damage" (p.30). 

This picture of my friend, Maegan, is an excellent image of what a woman looks like when her emotions don't control her and she is a well-equipped rider.

She's in charge.

She has a tight grip on the reigns.

She is graceful

and gorgeous.

They are companions

and in it for the long haul.

In what ways, do you help your children control their emotions?  Do you have a plan on how you train them in this area?  Are you aware of your child's "meltdown hours," or what we call at our home, the "witching hour?"  Do their emotions rule them and in a way rule the house?  Do your emotions control you?

Let's journey together and seek the Lord on how to teach our children - I would love to hear from you.

"A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" Proverbs 1:7

~cheryl~