{on becoming a pastor's wife}

I used to smoke pot in 8th grade. And if you had asked me then if I thought one day I would be a pastor's wife, I would have blown that joint right in your face. 

But by God's grace, a pastor's wife is exactly what I am. I mentioned in one of my last posts that 2012 was a big year for our family. Patrick became the pastor of our church in August 2012, which meant that Iris was only a few weeks old. I can remember several people asking how I was going to handle that with a new baby, three other kids and Patrick still working as a real estate broker on top of everything else.

Iris at 2 weeks

I can honestly say that God gave me an extra measure of grace during those first couple of months. Iris is a wonderfully calm baby and when she isn't hungry or tired, she is so happy. This was, and still is, such a gift from God. I was also genuinely excited to see what God was going to do in our church and in our family. I trusted that He had called Patrick and the Lord has proven to be faithful to that calling. My faith has been strengthened by the way God has moved in Patrick's life and I am reminded of God's perfect plan and perfect timing. A year ago, I would've grasped and clawed for Patrick the busier he got, demanding that he be home to help me - I mean I just had a fourth baby for cryin out loud - I would have been justified, right? But thankfully, I didn't feel that way and although it was hard at times in those early months, I had a peace in my heart, knowing that this was God's plan and I could rest in His goodness. 
And this journey that we are on has been so good. Our church is in the candidacy phase to become part of the Acts 29 network, and that has been such a blessing. It is an amazing church planting network that supports pastors in their call to shepherd their churches. I am so thankful to be a part of it, especially as I meander this new role of a 'pastor's wife.' I never felt any pressure from our church to be someone that I am not and I am so thankful for that. But I am becoming keenly aware that like anything else, if I am not resting in who Christ has made me, then I will put the pressure on myself. I am a people pleaser by nature, and have to be careful to not fall into that trap. But on the other hand, I want to be willing to give of myself and not hunker down under the guise of protecting my family. It is a fine line between those two and I need the Lord to direct my steps and keep my heart in check. 

Our church is considered a re-plant by Acts 29, since Patrick is now the pastor and the church is under new leadership, and so I am a "church-planting pastor's wife" (sounds complicated). I was pretty stoked to win this book in a random drawing that I stumbled upon the other day over at Kendra's blog. The book I won is The Church Planting Wife: Help and Hope for Her Heart, by Christine Hoover. She blogs at grace covers me and it has been such a source of encouragement to me.

I am looking forward to reading it. I desperately want to glorify God and be a helpmate to Patrick and the good Lord knows that I could use some guidance in this area as it is so new to me. I didn't think that my life would change that much, because I am still me. But my life is different and at times I can't put my finger on exactly why. I am praying that I will glean some wisdom from the other women that have gone before me. 

{miscellany monday}

Happy Monday to everyone! I decided to jump back into {miscellany monday} because sharing about other things I find on the web is one of my favorite things about this blog!

1. 5 Ways to Fight Slavery

I liked this post - What Christians Do About Modern-Day Slavery over at the desiring God blog. It was informative, convicting and challenging. We need to do our part in fighting the evil of human trafficking and this article helps point out some easy and obvious ways to do it. I can't help but think of this quote by Martin Luther King Jr.
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” 

2. Stop Asking Jesus into Your Heart

This is a review of J.D. Greear's book, Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart, by Tim Challies.
Challies says, "Greear sets out to accomplish two things: to help the Christian find assurance that he has been saved, and to help the unbeliever resting on a false assurance see his danger and to turn to Christ." It looks like a great book and would be helpful for anyone who struggles with the assurance of their salvation.

3. A mover and a shaker

Iris is on the move! 
So far she still army crawls everywhere, but she gets up on all fours and rocks it like a rock star. I love to see their personalities take shape. She's 6 months and I love this age!


4. The Greatest of These is Love

photo by cloistered away

My friend, Bethany, wrote a great post on Valentine's Day last week. I could totally relate and I know you will too.
  Check it out, will you?

Grace and peace to you 

this glorious Monday morning,

a new year and a faith strengthened

A new year. I can hardly believe it's 2013. And that it is already February. What?!?! Life most definitely moves faster the older you get...

4 crazy kiddos

A lot changed in 2012. I had baby #4, I became a pastor's wife and I decided to homeschool. Whew. That IS a big year. I spent most of 2012 on a blogging break because I was, and still am, searching for balance in my life. But I am processing what the Lord has been teaching me and thus I am blogging for today. 
I have been learning that my entire Christian life comes down to faith. I know, I know, ground-breaking, isn't it? But as simple as it sounds it has been life-altering and many of the dots of my walk with the Lord have been connected, so to speak. I have realized that the same lie that Eve believed in the garden - that God was withholding something from her and that He couldn't be trusted - is the same lie that is whispered in my ear daily. And the battle in my heart and mind is a battle of faith - who will I believe? Will I believe the lie or will I believe and remember the faithfulness of God? Will I believe that He is withholding something from me or will I believe that He works all things together for my good (Romans 8:28)? A couple of years ago, I can remember crying in the shower and asking the Lord if he was good. Was He really good? I desperately wanted to believe it, but knew that I wasn't living like I did. I would say that I believed in His goodness but when it boiled down to it, did I really? How we view God dictates how we live this Christian life. And I knew that, I knew that if I was questioning God's goodness, it was affecting how I lived. I didn't want to doubt - I wanted to believe in my heart what I knew to be true in my head. I wanted to see fruit of the new creation that Scripture promises. And praise be to God, I believe that He has been answering that prayer ever since - slowing showing me His goodness and faithfulness.
This verse from Romans has made a huge impact on my life:

"Yet [Abraham] did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why 'it was credited to him as righteousness.' The words 'it was credited to him' were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification." Romans 4:20-25

I am seeing more and more that God has the power to do what He promises, and my prayer is that I am fully persuaded like Abraham. I believe that He is the one that is faithful. He is the one in whom my heart finds joy and the one in whom I can take refuge. But oftentimes it's a battle to believe these truths in the depths of our soul. In 1 Timothy 6:11-12, Paul exhorts believers to "Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called..."I have to fight to believe the promises of God. When I am tempted to worry, to get angry, to be impatient, I remind myself (with Scripture) that His Spirit is in me and therefore, I have the power to display the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 6), and that I am a new creation (1 Cor 5:17). I fight the lies and the temptation with the truth in His word.

 John Piper's Future Grace has been so helpful in this battle of faith. This book has helped me to see how trusting in what Christ did on the cross is my strength for the future - minute by minute, day by day. It's not just enough to look back and be thankful for what He did. I also have to look forward and trust that He will remain faithful to the end.

"...what it means to believe in Jesus is to experience him as the satisfaction of my soul's thirst and my heart's hunger. Faith is the experience of contentment in Jesus. The fight of faith is the fight to keep your heart contented in Christ - to really believe, and keep on believing, that he will meet every need and satisfy every longing." - John Piper, Future Grace

That's where I'm at. I love to write out my thoughts, so thank you for reading! I have lots more to say, but I am cutting this post off now and plan to write more about the other changes that I mentioned earlier in this post (i.e. homeschooling and being a pastor's wife). 

But I would love to know how you fight the good fight. Leave a comment and let me know! 


Blessings!

miscellany monday {april matters}

1. Idleness, gossips and busybodies

Nancy Ann Wilson, wrote an article that really challenged me titled, "Daughters and Boredom."  

 "And we need to see the value of keeping our little girls busy too. Boredom and idleness lead to grumpiness and annoyance, and make fertile ground for fault-finding and tattling. Little girls who indulge in the sins of tattling and tale-bearing can grow up to become gossips and busybodies." Read the rest here.

First it challenged me as a woman to not be idle and to not be a busybody. My natural tendency is to be lazy, so this was a great reminder of what we are called to do - namely, being faithful with our time. I am also thankful to be reading it while my daughters are still young, so that I can set a good example for them and encourage them to be hard workers. But even if your daughters are grown up, or you don't have any, Wilson also encourages grandmothers in this as well.

2. Motherhood in the little things  

My friends and I have been talking a lot about this article that Rachel Jankovic (Nancy Ann Wilson's daughter) recently posted. She hits it on the nail again when it comes to being a mother in the little things. I encourage you to read it! 

"Organization and dishwasher running are not the only things that are little about motherhood. Your days are full of little questions, little answers, little puzzles, little problems, little concerns. Little disobedience. Big disobedience over little things. This can be very discouraging to any mother. What have I ever done that was important? What, in the course of my regular day, matters? Is this hot new system for containing playmobil really as big of an accomplishment as I think it is? What happened to me that I think this is important?"

Read the entire article here.

 3. Speaking of not being idle  

I am totally nesting. And I love it. I bought a bunch of fabric and have caught the sewing bug. I made these for a friend who is having a baby boy soon. My only regret was that she was the guinea pig and they came out okay, but definitely could have been done better. I didn't take a picture of them, but I did take a picture of the ones I started my baby girl. Below is the source and then next is part of what I have done so far.

  

via pinterest

 

4. Cutting for Stone

I am currently reading Cutting for Stone, by Abraham Verghese and am nearly finished. I have enjoyed it for the most part. It has been a little slow, but it's held my attention, which is saying a lot in this phase of my life. And I don't know if it's because my life is going to radically change in July, but I have been wanting to read more than I have in a long time. So I am really excited to pick up a copy of The House at Riverton that my sister-in-law, Laura, recommended. Another friend recommended, The Kitchen House, but I haven't been able to locate a copy of that one yet. If you have one, could I borrow it? Also, if you've read Cutting for Stone, I would love to hear your thoughts!

5. Traditional Easter pics

 

Happy Monday, y'all!

 

   

encouraged by looking back

Since Reed will be turning 2 on Sunday, I have been reflecting on the past year. Thinking about how much smoother his second year of life was than his first. About how less crazy I have been compared to the past. I don't know if it's because my hormones are more leveled out, or because I get plenty of regular sleep, and we have a pretty good routine. I am sure it is a combination of all of those things. But one thing that stands out, is that when Reed was about 8 months old, I confessed to my closest friends that I was struggling, that I was having a hard time with 3 kids under 4. I let people in and invited them to pray for me, to be there for me. And I haven't been the same since. I still struggle and I still have days where I am a less than stellar mom, but on the whole I can sense God's healing in my life. I can see where I am more patient and kind than in the past. I can see the negative thoughts coming and cut them off ahead of time. I really believe that God honored my forthrightness. I believe that what His Word says is true.

  "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." James 5:16

"If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." 1 John 1:6-8

This is a portion from one of my favorite books and it was one of the books that my pastor recommended back at that time. I pray it encourages you as much as it did me.

"Nothing is more supportive of right behavior than open truth. And the baring of the soul to a mature friend in Christ or to a qualified minister enables such friends to pray for specific problems and to do those things that may be most helpful and redemptive to the one confessing. Confession alone makes deep fellowship possible, and the lack of it explains much of the superficial quality so commonly found in our church associations. What, though, makes confession bearable? Fellowship. There is an essential reciprocity between these two disciplines.

Confession is a discipline that functions within fellowship. In it we let trusted others know our deepest weaknesses and failures. This will nourish our faith in God's provision for our needs through his people, our sense of being loved, and our humility before our brothers and sisters. Thus we let some friends in Christ know who we really are, not holding back anything important, but ideally, allowing complete transparency. We lay down the burden of hiding and pretending, which normally takes up such a dreadful amount of human energy. We engage and are engaged by others in the most profound depths of the soul."

Dallas Willard, The Spirit of the Disciplines

Everyday Talk

"Parents, when you give in to anger, resentment or self-pity at your children's bad behavior, you make yourself the center of the problem. You are loving yourself first and most. You must love your kids enough to show them the danger of their behavior. They need to see that their first problem is with God, and only secondarily with you. You must be more concerned for them than  for yourself, and you must be concerned most of all for God. By modeling patience, love, self-control—and all the fruit of the Spirit—you teach your children how extraordinary God is." 

- John A. Younts, Everyday Talk

I can still remember the first time I heard, "It's not all about you." It was January 1997, in Austin, TX at the first ever Passion Conference. Some guy I had never heard of at the time, Louie Giglio, was the main speaker and one of the guest speakers was John Piper. One night when Piper was preaching, I can remember hearing for the first time the truth of God's Word in a way that I never heard before - "God is most glorified in you, when you are most satisfied in Him." It was earth-shattering stuff. I also clearly remember realizing that I had been reading the Bible looking for myself in it the whole time. Reading it and thinking, what was it saying to me? Piper explained, we should be reading the Bible searching for Him — His character, His attributes. The realization that "it's not all about me" was life-changing.

That was. gasp. 14 years ago. After all this time, it amazes me how easily I still want it to be about me. I mentioned awhile back that I started reading Everyday Talk after my sister-in-law recommended it. Well, this past week I read Chapter 5, and oh.my.word. It was so challenging. Once again, it wasn't anything I hadn't heard before. But in the context of raising my children, the truth of Philippians 2 just jumped up at me and pierced my heart. 
Younts reminded me that I need to be prepared for my children to sin, to make mistakes. It's crazy to me that I somehow forget this. That I forget that they aren't going to obey perfectly anymore than I do. Their sinning is inevitable. He also said that when they sin, to not take it personally. That's a hard one sometimes. I find that I am indignant with my children when they don't do things I want them to do. I get a little bent out of shape and find that my attitude is pretty pathetic. Its because I am making it about myself. I am putting myself in the center and I am letting their behavior get me in a tizzy. 
But he challenges the reader and says, "You must respond to sin in a way that honors God first, even when all your emotional responses are telling you to lash out or to give up. Trusting God when you are sinned against is an act of holiness. In your everyday life there will come times when your children's sin takes you by surprise. Prepare for that day so that your talk will show your God to be a holy God. Make your everyday talk holy, no ordinary." It's pretty amazing when you take yourself out of the center, especially when it comes to parenting. It quickly reduces the tension in the room. It allows you to think clearly and focus on it being a teachable moment. Thank you, Lord for these words of wisdom and truth. Please, oh, please, help me to remember in those moments. Those difficult moments that catch me off guard. Be quick to call to mind—it's not about me. It's about You.






Linking up over at Good Morning Girls

Miscellany Monday {a good book, HP & a 7D}

Have you read this little gem of a book, Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl? If not, well let me be the first one to tell you that it. is. so. good. It's clever, intelligent, funny, and full of wisdom. I won't spoil the entire book for you because frankly, it's just better to read it than to hear about it. But there is one portion in the book, where N.D. Wilson talks about how life would be sterile and boring if there wasn't heartache or tragedy. We complain and throw our fists in the air at God and tell Him we would do it differently, we would change the way the world works. But he challenges that notion by saying:

"Where would you improve it?... Looking out of your eyes, the world could easily be improved. Fewer people could die. Death could be banished. Hunger slaked. Thirst quenched. Evil, that which displeases God, should be gone. So it should. But how? When? What is it that you are assessing? Would Pride and Prejudice be improved by throwing away every page prior to the resolution, by erasing every character flaw, every misunderstanding and dispute?" (page 84)

I thought about that this weekend when I saw the last Harry Potter film. When it ended and people starting clapping, (myself included because it was terrific and yes, I have read all 7 books) the young man behind me said in fun, "Well, there's the end of my childhood." These books have been a huge part of many peoples lives because of the sheer amount of time from the first book to the last, I think about 10 years. Why did Harry Potter have that affect? I believe it's the age old theme that gets us every time. Good vs. Evil. Everyone who likes the series, fell in love with Harry, Hermione and Ron. J.K. Rowling did an excellent job of character building and she weaved the various themes throughout the seven books in such an amazing way. But can you imagine reading those books or watching those films without Lord Voldemort?
And what would The Lord of the Rings be without Lord Sauron? Or Narnia without the White Witch? Some things to think about . . . 

Speaking of Harry Potter, here is an excellent review by Andrew Peterson over at The Rabbit Room. If you've read the books, I think you will enjoy the article. If you've never read the books, for whatever reason, I think you should really read the article.

"Let me be clear: Harry Potter is NOT Jesus. This story isn’t inspired, at least not in the sense that Scripture is inspired; but because I believe that all truth is God’s truth, that the resurrection is at the heart of the Christian story, and the main character of the Christian story is Christ, because I believe in God the Father, almighty maker of heaven and earth and in Jesus Christ his only begotten son—and because I believe that he inhabits my heart and has adopted me as his son, into his family, his kingdom, his church—I have the freedom to rejoice in the Harry Potter story, because even there, Christ is King. Wherever we see beauty, light, truth, goodness, we see Christ. Do we think him so small that he couldn’t invade a series of books about a boy wizard?"

The Canon EOS 7D. That is what is coming in the mail this week. That is what my amazing husband bought me with some of the money he made after selling all our earthly goods. Well, almost all of them, at least the ones we don't want anymore. And I CAN'T WAIT. I have at least 3 posts waiting in wings because I want to take good pictures for them. One post is about the hutch I repainted, one is a recipe and one is my reorganized craft room. I know, you can all just hardly wait. But please try to be patient. Seriously... you're embarrassing yourselves with all the emails asking me what I'm going to post next. You should really get a life.




What did you do this weekend?

thankful for reminders

I had the privilege of joining in on a discussion this morning about the book Loving the Little Years, by Rachel Jankovic. It was a wonderful group of ladies, some new friends, some old, and they are reading the book as part of their Bible study this summer. As you all know, if you have read my blog this year, that I am very passionate about this little 102 page book. I finished reading it several months ago, so it was so nice to be reminded this morning of the things that encouraged me and challenged me the first time. And it also reminded me that I have been wanting to share this article that Rachel Jankovic wrote for the Desiring God blog. Once again, so full of wisdom, insight and encouragement. Here is a portion of it and if you want to read it in it's entirety, please go here.

Gain What You Cannot Lose in Them

So, if mothers are strategically situated to impact missions so greatly, why do we see so little coming from it?  I think the answer to this is quite simple: sin. Discontent, pettiness, selfishness, resentment. Christians often feel like the right thing to do is to be ashamed about what we have. We hear that quote of Jim Elliot’s and think that we ought to sell our homes and move to some place where they need the gospel.

But I’d like to challenge you to look at it differently. Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home, or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.

It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.

God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers.

Good, yes? 

I pray it encourages you as much as it did me.

Previous posts about Loving the Little Years:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3 
Part 4
Part 5

Grace Upon Grace {Book Club, Part 6}

"My heart says to you, 'Your face, LORD, do I seek' (Psalm 27:8), but I'm desperate to grab someone, anyone, and shake hard, How do I have the holy vision in this mess? How do I see grace, give thanks, find joy in this sin-stinking place?" (page 125)

Ann Voskamp starts chapter 7 by describing the tension she feels when her sons are blatantly sinning against each other. As they are fighting, she is getting frustrated and feeling defeated she asks herself, "where did I go so wrong?" 

I could absolutely relate to this. There will be times where I will have a nice quiet morning before everyone wakes. I drink my coffee slowly. I read. I pray. And I journal. I feel equipped, and ready to begin the day. And then within a few hours of everyone awake, I can feel my neck stiffen and my patience drain out of me. Whiny kids fighting with each other over silly things, markers on chairs, the proverbial spilled milk — and I will just sometimes lose it. I will get angry and tell them to go play in their room. I don't want to have a teachable moment. I don't want to figure out whose toy it was in the first place. I want to just rip it from their hands and throw it in the trash. I will get frustrated with all the "stuff" we have and wonder why I don't just get rid of it all. And then I inevitably calm down and realize how immature I was just behaving. A wave of guilt will rush over me and I think back to the early morning hour and think, "Well, that 'quiet time' was a waist. A lot of good that did my attitude." I will feel defeated in those moments of not being the mom I know I can be. Crushed under the weight of my own guilt, under the weight of knowing I have to teach them but just not having the right heart in that moment.
This chapter offered some real insight into those hurtful cycles. Voskamp asks herself, "What compels me to name these moments upheavals and annoyances instead of grace and gift? Why deprive myself of joy's oxygen?" And the answer she said was swift—"Because you believe in the power of the pit" (page 125). This next paragraph got me. It got to my heart and tears flowed quickly. Because I knew what she was saying was right.

"Really? I lay my head on the table. Do I really smother my own joy because I believe that anger achieves more than love? That Satan's way is more powerful, more practical, more fulfilling in my daily life than Jesus' way? Why else get angry? Isn't it because I think complaining, exasperation, resentment will pound me up into the full life I really want? When I choose—and it is a choice—to crush joy with bitterness, am I not purposefully choosing to take the way of the Prince of Darkness? Choosing the angry way of Lucifer because I think it is more effective —more expedient—than giving thanks?"

I have been behaving poorly. Believing that getting angry with my kids will accomplish what I want is absurd. I am quick to react, quick to impatience, and quick to frustration. I am what the Proverbs clearly calls a fool. Ann's words hit hard. Do I really believe that anger achieves more than love? I must, since I am so quick to respond that way. I have to remember, constantly be reminded that I need a grateful heart. I am like a sheep, dumb and forgetful. I am so quick to forget that from His fullness, I have received blessing upon blessing, favor upon favor and gift upon gift. "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." John 1:14, 16
 And John Piper says, in one of his sermons, "If you want to be really alert to seeing Jesus’ divine beauty, his glory—the spiritual brightness that sets him apart as self-evidently real and true—then make sure you tune your senses to see his grace. That’s what his glory is full of." God has been using this pressure-cooker of a life to make me more like his Son, tuning my heart to see His grace. And I am very aware that I need His grace every minute of every day.

Sandra McCracken's song, Grace Upon Grace from The Builder and The Architect album, has also helped me to remember. This song has helped me tunes my senses and has been a beautiful reminder of His grace in my life. It helps me to remain thankful, instead of ungracious and unkind. It reminds me of the gospel, the life-giving, life-altering gospel.


In every station, new trials and new troubles
Call for more grace than I can afford
Where can I go but to my dear Savior
For mercy that pours from boundless stores.

CHORUS:
Grace upon grace, every sin repaired
Every void restored, you will find Him there
In every turning He will prepare you
With grace upon grace.

He made a way for the fallen to rise
Perfect in glory and sacrifice
In sweet communion my need He supplies
He saves and keeps and guards my life

To Thee I run now with great expectation
To honor You with trust like a child
My hopes and desires seek a new destination
and all that You ask Your grace will provide.

What songs remind you of God's grace? Did you read Chapter 7 in Ann's book? What lessons did you learn?


~cheryl~

I have a confession ...

Hello, my name is Cheryl and I'm a blogaholic.

(This is the part where y'all clap and say, "Welcome, Cheryl")

My husband and I had an interesting conversation the other night. We were fortunate enough to have an impromptu date, so after dropping the kids off at his parents' house, we went to our favorite local Mexican restaurant. Good salsa, good atmosphere and good fajitas. And GREAT people watching. Every time we go, I feel like we are in an episode of The Real Housewives, minus the cat fighting, although that would be pretty awesome and I would be sure to record it on my phone. There are always middle-aged women dressed to the nines, drinking margaritas and flirting away with all the men at the bar. It's strange really, because we are in the burbs. Not a big city where people gather after working at the office. So I have come to believe, if you are at least 45 and like to party like you're still in college, it's definitely the place to be seen in our town.
Anyways, Patrick and I got to talking about my blog. And he delicately informed me, after a little prodding, that I may a bit consumed with blogging. He told me that he is glad I have found something I enjoy, a way to get all my thoughts out, use my gift of encouragement, and to have a place to just record my life as a mother. But with that being said, he told me he thought I was becoming a bit obsessive. Ugh.
At first, I wanted to defend myself. And defend all my readers and say that my blog is what gets you up in the morning. Because it does, right? I kid. I kid. I'm not that crazy.
But after I clarified that he still believed I needed to keep blogging and that he encouraged me to, I let my guard down. Because in my heart, I knew he was right. 
I know that I have a hard time with balance. I have a hard time not going full throttle when I get excited about something. And since I really just started blogging in January, I am realizing that I need to slow down and find some balance. I am really good at starting things but horrible at finishing them. I have been making this blog an unnecessary priority in my life. And frankly, if I'm not inspired, if I'm not reading anything that challenges me and strengthens my faith in Christ, then I am definitely not going to be inspired to write anything authentic. When I am in His Word and reading good books by great authors, I can't help but write. But I have let a lot of well-intentioned blog hopping distract me. I haven't really been reading as much as I have been skimming. I have placed these ridiculous expectations on myself  by subscribing to a bunch of blogs and frankly, it's quite embarrassing that I struggle this much with balance. 
It was really difficult to even write this and hit publish because I feel like such a hypocrite and I don't want people to judge me, and blah, blah, blah. But since I have clearly stated in previous posts, that I want to keep it real on my blog, there you go, this is me keepin' it real, y'all. (If you relate at all to what I am saying then I recommend this on Tim Challies blog. It's pretty helpful).
So. I am picking up some books and limiting my time in blogland. I am remembering why I love to blog in the first place - and that is to process the things the Lord is teaching me.

I am reading A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World, by Paul E. Miller and so far it has been really good. It's easy to read, very approachable and very honest about how praying is difficult. So far I am just on Chapter 3 but I am looking forward to blogging about this book. Here is a quote from Chapter 1:
"Praying exposes how self-preoccupied we are and uncovers our doubts. It was easier on our faith not to pray. After only a few minutes, our prayer is in shambles. Barely out of the starting gate, we collapse on the sidelines—cynical, guilty, and hopeless." 


How do you remained balanced with blogging?

~cheryl~





And linking up with Lora