a new year and a faith strengthened

A new year. I can hardly believe it's 2013. And that it is already February. What?!?! Life most definitely moves faster the older you get...

4 crazy kiddos

A lot changed in 2012. I had baby #4, I became a pastor's wife and I decided to homeschool. Whew. That IS a big year. I spent most of 2012 on a blogging break because I was, and still am, searching for balance in my life. But I am processing what the Lord has been teaching me and thus I am blogging for today. 
I have been learning that my entire Christian life comes down to faith. I know, I know, ground-breaking, isn't it? But as simple as it sounds it has been life-altering and many of the dots of my walk with the Lord have been connected, so to speak. I have realized that the same lie that Eve believed in the garden - that God was withholding something from her and that He couldn't be trusted - is the same lie that is whispered in my ear daily. And the battle in my heart and mind is a battle of faith - who will I believe? Will I believe the lie or will I believe and remember the faithfulness of God? Will I believe that He is withholding something from me or will I believe that He works all things together for my good (Romans 8:28)? A couple of years ago, I can remember crying in the shower and asking the Lord if he was good. Was He really good? I desperately wanted to believe it, but knew that I wasn't living like I did. I would say that I believed in His goodness but when it boiled down to it, did I really? How we view God dictates how we live this Christian life. And I knew that, I knew that if I was questioning God's goodness, it was affecting how I lived. I didn't want to doubt - I wanted to believe in my heart what I knew to be true in my head. I wanted to see fruit of the new creation that Scripture promises. And praise be to God, I believe that He has been answering that prayer ever since - slowing showing me His goodness and faithfulness.
This verse from Romans has made a huge impact on my life:

"Yet [Abraham] did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why 'it was credited to him as righteousness.' The words 'it was credited to him' were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification." Romans 4:20-25

I am seeing more and more that God has the power to do what He promises, and my prayer is that I am fully persuaded like Abraham. I believe that He is the one that is faithful. He is the one in whom my heart finds joy and the one in whom I can take refuge. But oftentimes it's a battle to believe these truths in the depths of our soul. In 1 Timothy 6:11-12, Paul exhorts believers to "Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called..."I have to fight to believe the promises of God. When I am tempted to worry, to get angry, to be impatient, I remind myself (with Scripture) that His Spirit is in me and therefore, I have the power to display the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 6), and that I am a new creation (1 Cor 5:17). I fight the lies and the temptation with the truth in His word.

 John Piper's Future Grace has been so helpful in this battle of faith. This book has helped me to see how trusting in what Christ did on the cross is my strength for the future - minute by minute, day by day. It's not just enough to look back and be thankful for what He did. I also have to look forward and trust that He will remain faithful to the end.

"...what it means to believe in Jesus is to experience him as the satisfaction of my soul's thirst and my heart's hunger. Faith is the experience of contentment in Jesus. The fight of faith is the fight to keep your heart contented in Christ - to really believe, and keep on believing, that he will meet every need and satisfy every longing." - John Piper, Future Grace

That's where I'm at. I love to write out my thoughts, so thank you for reading! I have lots more to say, but I am cutting this post off now and plan to write more about the other changes that I mentioned earlier in this post (i.e. homeschooling and being a pastor's wife). 

But I would love to know how you fight the good fight. Leave a comment and let me know! 


Blessings!

{on ovens, teapots, cleaning and God's light}

We got a new oven this past week, because our old oven was a causality of my last pregnancy. Let me explain. Since I can't drink coffee when I am pregnant (not because I like to avoid caffeine, but because I like to avoid puke), I drink A LOT of tea. I turn into a Brit the minute I conceive. So when I was pregnant with Iris, I boiled water on the stove every morning. I used a whistling teapot that was a wedding gift many moons ago. It was yellow. A happy bold yellow. Since it whistled, I would turn it on and walk away, because you know, that's what moms do - multi task - and come back when I heard it whistle. Well one day, I walked back into the kitchen and I could smell this awful charring smell. I yelled for Patrick because I thought something was about to explode in the oven. And then I realized that my teapot was what was getting charred. Me and my baby brain forgot to put water in the teapot! And I saw that my yellow teapot was melted to the glass top of my stove. Yeah. Awesome. And in the process of prying it off, the entire top cracked. Patrick was so kind about it and we have laughed about it on more that one occasion. I am thankful that he doesn't love things more than me. 
In preparation for the new stove, we had to pull out the old one. And I knew what that would entail. Cleaning. I was not looking forward to seeing what was behind the oven. When I got the mop out and started to clean, I saw a whole lot more that needed cleaning - the baseboards and the cabinets were atrocious. I don't notice them anymore since I don't have a crawler - who knows the last time that I gave it a good scrubbing. Have you ever not wanted to turn a light on because you didn't want to see the dirt that is lurking in the corners? When the light streams through my windows, it reveals so much grossness that sometimes I honestly just shut the blinds so that I don't have to see it. So I don't have to stop and deal with it. And as I was mopping, I started thinking about how much my life resembles that. I oftentimes don't want the light of Christ to shine on the yuckiness in my heart, to reveal the gross sin that is lurking in the corners. In BSF last week, we studied Genesis 4, about Cain and Abel. ^"The Lord said to Cain, 'Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it'” (Genesis 4:6-7). God mercifully warned Cain that he was blind to the sin that was crouching and lurking in the shadows. He warned him that it wanted to rule over him. I have been thinking all week about what sins are crouching at the door and want to rule me? They aren't the "big" sins, but the less discernible ones in my life, that lurk in the shadows of my heart. Impatience, selfishness, self-righteousness... these are what I am tempted to give into. I am constantly teaching my kids that Love is patient and kind, it's not rude. And every time I say it, I am reminded of my own rude and impatient heart. While cleaning, I was reminded of this truth:

"...for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Ephesians 5:8-14

What a wonderful promise. Expose the dark places of my heart to the light of Christ and darkness no longer reigns there. This is because when sin is exposed, when it becomes visible, it is in the light. I may still struggle with it, but I am no longer blind to it. It is there for me to deal with instead of ignoring it, it is there for me to confess and allow the Holy Spirit to clean it out. I want His light to reveal the places in my life that don't bring him honor and that hurt the people around me. Because that's what sin does, it hurts those around you whether you like it or not. Instead I want to love with the love of Christ and not give in to the sin that is crouching in the darkness, I want to be the light. I don't want to be blind or comfortable with the sin in the dark places of my heart. I don't want the sin in my life to hinder me from authentic relationships. So I am opening the windows and letting the light of His Word expose my sin.

"This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:5-9

This promise in scripture is both challenging and comforting. I am going to take hold of His faithfulness and allowing the light of His Word to expose the sin I don't want to deal with, the dirt in the corners. I am relying on his forgiveness to wash and make me clean. And I am praising Him for the times in my life that I am forced to clean and deal with the yuckiness in my life, in the corners of my heart.

Blessings to you this Monday!

 


 

Sin is Never the Only Option

Ever since I wrote this post, I have been chewing on the meaning of this verse from 1 Corinthians:

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

I think this is the verse that people take and misuse the phrase: "God will never give you more than you can handle." But as I stated in the previous post, this verse says nothing about circumstances, it clearly states that you will not be tempted beyond what you can handle. So what does that look like in real life. What are the sort of temptations Paul is talking about? In context, he is reminding the Corinthians of how the Israelites had been an idolatrous, grumbling nation and a lot of the letter was written to rebuke the Corinthians for their selfishness and unwillingness to put others first. He is encouraging them to remember that in their temptation, God, who is faithful, will provide the strength to escape it. Sin will never be the only option for those who are in Christ. When I used to read this verse, I would read temptation and think "big sins," like stealing or lying. But it wasn't until recently, the Lord showed me that it's also talking about our temptation to subtler sins, such as, selfishness, pride and envy. The Corinthians were tempted to only think of themselves and I can surely relate to that.
I can easily fall into the day to day grumbling and complaining. "My life is so hard," "I never get any sleep," "I just want to have an adult conversation," "Can I just pee by myself for once in 5 years?!" But I am rebuked and encouraged again and again by this verse. The temptation to get frustrated with my kids for not obeying, for talking back, for just being kids and asking 1,000 questions a day is not beyond what I can endure with the help of the Holy Spirit. The temptation to cling to "my rights" and to what "I deserve," passes when I stop and ask Jesus for help. And I remember Jesus' words, that those who lose their life for His sake will find it (Mat. 10:39). So this has been my prayer as of late:

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead..." Ephesians 1:18-20

In Christ, I am not tempted beyond what I can bear. Praise Jesus.

 





  

Thankful for my "gospel posse"

I read this today and thought it was right on, so I am posting this for my "gospel posse," or what I will now dub my "gospel gangstas." ;) You know who you are.

Prayer of Rejoicing for a “Gospel Posse”
by Scotty Smith

For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you. Philem. 1:7

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Eccles. 4:9-12

Heavenly Father, I cannot imagine how raging storms can be navigated, heavy burdens borne, and crazy-making seasons endured without the company of a few good friends—a “gospel posse,” a few friends who keep showing up, no matter what. I praise you today for the gift of friendship—for the joy, encouragement, and refreshment given and received as we walk with a few comrades in grace and hope.
When we walk through certain seasons of stress and heartache, we’re often inclined to think, “No one can possibly understand what I’m going through. No one can begin to relate to my anger and confusion. No one is as messed up as me. Everyone would handle this so much better than I am.”
Those are the times when it’s easy to withdraw into isolation, fall into the pit of condemnation, and reach for some ill-chosen medication. That’s when the gift of long-standing soul-engaging friends becomes especially precious… and necessary.
Father, I praise you for the gift of hearing friends utter these two words: “Me too.” I praise you for friends who know how to “refresh the hearts of the saints”—including this saint. I praise you for friends who remind me of the truth and power of the gospel, of the love of Jesus, and of the bigger story you are always writing. I praise you for friends who share their lives and not just their gospel. I praise you for friends who offer tears and not just their answers. I praise you for friends who give life-giving wisdom and not just mess-fixing formulas. Lord, make of me a much better friend…
These kinds of friendships turn our hearts heavenward. They remind us that the foundation and fountain of all good friendship is found in you. We will eternally praise you for befriending us in the gospel. Nothing is more astonishing, settling, and comforting than to hear Jesus say to us, “I no longer call you servants; I call you friends” (John 15:15). “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). What wondrous love is this, indeed. Hallelujah, what a salvation! Hallelujah, what a Savior! So very Amen we pray, in Jesus’ most glorious and gracious name.

Excuse me, there is work to be done

I didn't think I could do it. 
I didn't think I could go for a run yesterday afternoon. 
But I put on my running clothes that morning, hoping it would encourage me to go later. Nap time rolled around and I was dreading the inevitable question from Patrick, the one I also needed to answer myself, "Are you going to go for a run?" I sat there and wanted to whine, wanted to make excuses. 
But I decided I would stand up, put on my shoes, put on my earphones and step outside. I wasn't feeling 100% and we still had church that evening so I would be pushing it to get back in time to get showered and all of the kids ready.
But once I stepped outside, I just told myself to do the minimum of 30 minutes. I ended up getting a second wind at 30 and ran for 50 minutes. This wasn't one of my better days considering I am running a half in January, but it'll do. 
You know why?
Because I did it. 
I shut my mouth, turned off my brain and just did it.

 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

I don't think it's always a good idea to compare Scripture to physical exercise. But I do think there is something to be said about how our minds affect our bodies and vice versa. This is the type of discipline that I pray seeps into the rest of my life. I tend to over think, over analyze, and over worry. When I am in a funk and don't do the task at hand, I just sink deeper into the bad mood. I want to learn to move through something even though I don't want to do it. I am praying for the discipline to just plow through, despite how I am feeling.  I saw this on John Piper's status the other day and was like, "YES!": 
 

"Tears, I feel you. You make me want to quit life. But excuse me, the Master has given me work to do."

So excuse me, laziness and apathy, there is work to be done. There are lunches to be made, clothes to be washed, friends to be called, and a husband to love. So excuse me, as I fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith, and get some work done.

 

God DOES give us more than we can handle

Last Friday, I posted an article that talked about the phrase, "God will never give you more than you can handle." Well, I got a couple of emails that were not necessarily in agreement with what this article proposed. So, I thought I would further explain why I don't think we need to use that phrase when we are trying to comfort or encourage someone.
First let me say, I understand, that in essence, this phrase is saying that God will be there in your time of need. And I can understand the intention here. And I agree wholeheartedly that God is there in your time of need, because His Word promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Deut. 31:8).
But, this phrase is no where in scripture and I think that it gets confused with 1 Cor. 10:13, "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." This verse specifically says temptation, not circumstances. God will not allow something in your life, where sin is the only option. We cannot take this verse out of context and make it imply what we want. And you don't want to do that, you know why? Because if God didn't give us circumstances that were more than we could handle we wouldn't need Jesus. And the gospel wouldn't be good news. If God didn't give us more than we could handle, then why would we ever look to Him for help? Why would we cry out to Him in those moments of despair? We wouldn't lean on him for the grace that we need to get through our trials. Paul's statement in this passage from 2 Corinthians clearly shows that God does in fact gave us more than we could handle.

"For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead." 2 Corinthians 1:8-9

The world tells us that when there is hardship you can do it and you are strong enough to make it through, and that "what doesn't kill you just makes you stronger." And while that line is in over 100 pop culture songs (some of which are favorites of mine), it was first coined by Nietzsche, a staunch atheist. I think this self-reliant thinking has subtly made its way into Christian thinking and although saying "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" isn't always wrong, (if it's said with the understanding that it is through Christ by which we can handle it), it can be misleading. The Bible makes it clear that we are not self-sufficient. We cannot muster up enough will power to become more holy and bear the burden on our own. We need Jesus. And we need to tell others about the hope we have in Him, and not in ourselves.  I think we should err on the side of scripture when we are looking to encourage or comfort someone. Here are some paraphrases from scripture that I would suggest telling someone who is struggling.

• God promises that He will work all things together for His good, for those who love Him. Romans 8:28 
• There is no temptation that is bigger than He is, and He is faithful. 1 Cor. 10:13
• His burden is light and He will give you rest. Matthew 11:28-30
• He is the faithful One and He keeps His promises. Deut. 7:9
• His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in our time of need. 2 Cor. 12:9

Praise God that he gives us more than we can handle all the time. Praise God, that His power is made perfect in our weakness. And let us encourage one another with His Word and say to those who need encouragement, "take heart, for He has overcome the world! (John 16:33)

***There is still time left to enter my Noonday Collection GIVEAWAY!***
Ends Friday, Oct.28

   

Communion

I grew up celebrating the Lord's supper once a year - on Easter Sunday. The deacons would assemble at the front of the church and the pastor would pray and then they would pass out the silver trays holding little teeny tiny wafers and trays with tiny cups of grape juice. That, of course, was always my favorite. The miniature cup of grape juice. I would wait in anticipation til the end of the service so that I could run around with my friends stacking as many tiny cups as I could and comparing my stack to theirs. At least that is what I remember about communion. It was important, it was solemn, it was seldom and it consisted of food and drink in miniature form.

Of course, the older I have gotten, my understanding of the Lord's supper has changed. I used to think I was making a commitment or something. Like when I took the bread and drank the cup I was telling God I would do my best to serve and remember Him. I was going to try harder to be a better Christian.

But when Jesus says in Luke 22:19, ""This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me." He isn't saying, take and now serve me; or take and now be a better person. No, He is saying, this is my body, given for you - it is my grace being poured out so that you can have true life. He lived the perfect life, He laid down his life, and He did this so that we wouldn't have to. We couldn't have done what He did so He did it because He loves us.

We take communion every week at our church. And for the past several months, members have been making the bread that is shared. August has been my month to make it, and I have really enjoyed it. It has made me more mindful - of the simplicity of bread, of its nourishment and source of fuel for the body.  "Give us this day, our daily bread..."
I am thankful that we celebrate the Lord's supper every week and not just at Easter. I am thankful to be reminded of the gospel week in and week out. I am thankful to honor what Christ did on the cross because it means new life; it means grace and mercy. It means forgiveness and new beginnings. And not just at salvation, the gospel is for every day, it is how we are being transformed. By remembering what He did on the cross and beholding His glory, we are being made more like Him.

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." 2 Cor 3:18

How about you? How often does your church celebrate the Lord's supper?

 
 

  

Wash me, Savior, or I die

I did it. The other day I actually had a minor victory over my crazy-raging-hormonal-sinful self. I was in the van, driving the kids somewhere... I can't exactly remember where, but that's besides the point. I was feeling frustrated? discouraged? angry? I'm not exactly sure, because it was all wrapped up into one tightly wound ball that was about to explode. 
The point is that I was feeling. I was letting my feelings take charge. I was letting my thoughts control my feelings and I wasn't taking them captive (2 Cor 10:5). I wasn't talking to myself, like Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones encourages us to do. I was letting the enemy get a hold of my thoughts, listening to lies and allowing them to dictate my feelings. 
Until I turned on some music for the kids. I did it selfishly at first, because I didn't want to answer one more question about what day it was going to be in 3 days and when is it going to be tomorrow. 
I turned on the new song I had downloaded, Rock of Ages. The verse below just about did me in:

Nothing in my hand I bring

Simply to the cross I cling
Naked, come to Thee for dress
Helpless look to Thee for grace
Foul, I to the fountain fly

Wash me, Savior, or I die

The gospel. The gospel. The gospel. Preach the gospel to yourself, Cheryl. How easily I forget. How easily my mind wanders to the dark and gets stuck there. How easily I will just wallow in self-pity and anger. I need to be reminded, over and over again, to put to death the sin in my life and to put on Christ. Wash me, Savior with your grace and mercy, or I will die a thousand deaths. Wash me, Savior with your blood, your righteousness, or I will live a life of selfish mediocrity. "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires" (Romans 13:14).
Thanking God this morning for His mercy and grace. Thankful that He doesn't give up on me and that He loves me enough to remind me of the good news every day.

Drought

We are experiencing a major drought here in Texas. Apparently it is the third worst in Texas, since the early 1900's when they started recording the data. We live in one of the really dark red portions on the map.

We can't really afford to water our yard every day. The ground is so dry, that when I do, the water literally runs off the top of the grass and onto the driveway. It's maddening. I think, why don't you let it soak in, you silly-crunchy-dry-brown grass? And I'll say, "You need this water because you are dying." I have literally said it aloud a couple of times, hoping it hears me.
Kenya, Somalia and Ethiopia are experiencing their worst drought in 60 years. The major difference is that they live off the land. I live in a suburb and buy my groceries from HEB with woman who teach blind students how to make pie. I have no concept of what it really means to suffer in a drought. I have no idea of what it would look like for my family to become refugees because we have to move to where the food is. This image from the drought has stuck with me since I read that article, because well, they're a family. They are just trying to survive.

Roberto Schmidt / AFP - Getty Images

Sarura, left, her husband Ali, right and their six children look bewildered as they arrive at the Dadaab refugee camp in northeastern Kenya on Monday. Ali and his family had just finished an eight-day-journey to the camp from their home in Somalia. 

My pastor talked about the drought this weekend in relation to this passage from Scripture:

"For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven

and do not return there but water the earth,

making it bring forth and sprout,

giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;

it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,

and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it." 

Isaiah 55:10-11

Although, I don't fully comprehend the magnitude of a drought since we get water from dammed up rivers, thanks to the industrialized country that we live in, it helped shed light on the image that is put forth in the above passage. God's Word does not return to Him empty. My dry, hard heart is softened with the reading of His Word. That's a promise. It's a mystery. It's faith. My pastor said it should be comforting to know that when it rains, all the ground has to do is receive it. It's just there, it didn't do anything to get the rain, but after time the rain begins to soak in and reach deeper. "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hebrews 4:12 

I watered the yard last night and watched the water trickle down to the concrete and couldn't help but think of it being wasted. But praise God He doesn't see it that way. Out of His abundant grace, He continues to pour out His life-giving Word on my heart and nourish my spirit. He is extravagant in His love for His people and He promises that his Word will always accomplish its intended purpose. I am going to continue reading His Word in faith, believing that He will accomplish His purpose in my life, whether I feel like it is or not. I am thanking Him for the promise of nourishment found in His life-giving Word. 
I also believe that He will accomplish His purpose in the world. Today I am praying for the displaced people in the Horn of Africa. I am praying for rain, for food, for protection, not only from drought, but also from the various wars that ravage that part of the continent. I am praying that our country will respond on behalf of the 6 million people who desperately need food and water.
And I am thanking Him for softening my heart to see this need and for the reminder of how blessed we are to live in a nation that takes for granted the water that is so plentiful despite a drought of historical proportions.