Wash me, Savior, or I die

I did it. The other day I actually had a minor victory over my crazy-raging-hormonal-sinful self. I was in the van, driving the kids somewhere... I can't exactly remember where, but that's besides the point. I was feeling frustrated? discouraged? angry? I'm not exactly sure, because it was all wrapped up into one tightly wound ball that was about to explode. 
The point is that I was feeling. I was letting my feelings take charge. I was letting my thoughts control my feelings and I wasn't taking them captive (2 Cor 10:5). I wasn't talking to myself, like Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones encourages us to do. I was letting the enemy get a hold of my thoughts, listening to lies and allowing them to dictate my feelings. 
Until I turned on some music for the kids. I did it selfishly at first, because I didn't want to answer one more question about what day it was going to be in 3 days and when is it going to be tomorrow. 
I turned on the new song I had downloaded, Rock of Ages. The verse below just about did me in:

Nothing in my hand I bring

Simply to the cross I cling
Naked, come to Thee for dress
Helpless look to Thee for grace
Foul, I to the fountain fly

Wash me, Savior, or I die

The gospel. The gospel. The gospel. Preach the gospel to yourself, Cheryl. How easily I forget. How easily my mind wanders to the dark and gets stuck there. How easily I will just wallow in self-pity and anger. I need to be reminded, over and over again, to put to death the sin in my life and to put on Christ. Wash me, Savior with your grace and mercy, or I will die a thousand deaths. Wash me, Savior with your blood, your righteousness, or I will live a life of selfish mediocrity. "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires" (Romans 13:14).
Thanking God this morning for His mercy and grace. Thankful that He doesn't give up on me and that He loves me enough to remind me of the good news every day.