Seriously, Kindergarten?

Kindergarten Round-Up was yesterday. And oh.my.word. I nearly cried just on the walk to the school. It was just Saige and I (thanks to my rock star dad who came and stayed with the two little ones). And memories came rushing back as I looked down at her tiny hand in mine.

That is how it was back in the summer of 2006. Just baby Saige and I trying to figure it all out. Her showing me grace as I tried to figure the whole mommy thing out. So when we were walking there, I couldn't help but think of those things. And I was so proud of her. She held my hand the entire way there, but was so excited and not the least bit nervous. This once timid, little toddler, has proven to be a very brave and courageous almost-kindergartner. I mean just look at her. Isn't she adorable?

There were lots of other kids and parents there and we all stood in line to sign-in. We had to write our names on name-tags and a few other kids in front were writing their own names and I thought, oh, here we go. The first test of being a good mom - can your child write his/her name? Check. Whew, passed that one. As we were waiting to get into the library, a teacher came up and asked if she could lead our children down to the classroom that they would be staying in. I asked Saige if she wanted to go with the teacher or for me to go with her. And she pointed at the teacher and wanted to go with her. She's ready. In my head I was cheering, "you go, Saige, you go, girl." She showed no hesitation and acted like she had been there for years. It's hard to believe that she is only 4, because she has always seemed older than her age. 

Before the meeting started, I struck up a conversation with the mom to the left of me and asked if this was her first child going to kindergarten and she told me yes so we talked about all that is involved in that and then I asked the mom to the right of me the same question and she told me yes as well. I thought to myself, oh this is wonderful — I am going to make 2 new friends today. BUT unfortunately, she was the "look forward and never make eye contact" sort of person so I took that to mean that she didn't enjoy my company. I decided to keep baring my soul to the other woman because we had obviously bonded. So thank you, Becky, for engaging in a heart to heart in the elementary school library about the future of our children. I needed that. 

Because I would have been a big blubbering fool otherwise. Everyone in there seemed so calm and collected but tears kept welling up and I fought to keep them at bay. I wasn't going to be "that mom." I was going to pretend like I had it all together too. So I listened, I asked one of the teachers a few questions and then I went to pick up my daughter. She was beaming when she saw me and the other K teachers were like, "Saige, I am so glad you came, you really made our day, you are going to do so awesome because you are so smart and pretty and well-adjusted. I mean just look at that smile, and those pigtails. You're mom must be the best mom ever." Okay, they didn't say those things, but that would have been pretty cool, right? I grabbed her hand and we walked home. She gabbed on and on and on the entire time and I thought — I could get used to this. She was so full of life and so excited about all that she was going to learn. She is going to be just fine. I told Patrick when I got home, that the school really is a gift. It's public (meaning it's paid for with our taxes) and the faculty have been there for many years. They seemed to genuinely love children and love their jobs. And for this first year, I am at peace with her going there. I will miss her terribly, but I believe it will be good for our family. 

You go, Saige! You've got it in the bag.

~cheryl~